“Wow, that’s a lot of milk! Why don’t you just buy the cow?” says a woman glaring at my shopping cart which is packed with 24 gallons of freshly-dated, low-fat, cold milk. This delightful dairy will supply several Espresso Dave’s Special Coffee carts for the first day of an upcoming trade show at the Boston Convention and Exhibition Center. This is a typical encounter whenever I buy milk for an event.
Yesterday, after such an encounter, I recruited my teenagers and their friends to develop a list of comeback lines:
Supermarket Shopper says: “Wow, that’s a lot of milk!”
Espresso Dave says:
- “So, I eat a lot of cereal.”
- “I made too many chocolate chip cookies…”
Got milk? We sure need it! Photo: Scout-PR.Com, the agency behind the Great Cookie Dunk, Burlington, VT, May ’12 - “I bought the double-stuffed oreos.”
- “Cows may go extinct…stock up now!”
- “Moooo-ve on!”
- “Cow-a-bunga!”
- “These prices are un-spottable.”
- “I dairy-you to buy this much.”
- “Man-uer out of the way!”
- “I’m past-ure comments.”
- “You, dear sir, are a bully!”
- “I’m from the Hood.”
- “I bought this milk just because I cud.”
- “Heard there was an earthquake…I want to make a milkshake.”
- “I’m a cat person.”
- “Don’t worry…I’ll tip the cow.”
- “I left a good tip.”
- “Got milk?”
- “I’m lactose tolerant.”
- “I’m searching for a prize.”
- “I’m working for the government.”
- “I just hoof to have it.”
- “I’m milking it.”
- “I’m utterly amoozed, are you?”
- “I’m preventing osteoporosis.”
- Stocking up in case the cows don’t come home.
We love dairy cows. Photo: keeplocalfarms.org
Help me out here… I need a few more comebacks. Post your best lines!
